2023

and with another blink of an eye, it's 2023 already; worse, the first month of the year has just passed as well. my last post was written in 2020, and i felt so... adult that time. funny how being almost 23, i feel like i know nothing.

2022 was special. i struggled to find a way to depict it in the shortest way possible, but to summarize, i think it's the year i feel most alive. beginning the year being abroad and far from everything i knew, met new people, made new friends, created bunches of new memories. broke my heart, and loved, and lost, and loved, still love. wanting the time to freeze, begging the time to move faster, wondering what life is all along.

couple times catching myself  wandering and getting lost, felt like i never knew what i wanted other than to have fun. read a couple of books, as an attempt to stay sane. sleepless nights, empty stomachs, dry laughter. then it's all giggle and smile, cuddles and sweet dreams, calm nights and loud laughter. 

visiting new places i never knew they exist, building a home out of strange place and strange body, losing all and poking the wounds clothed in nostalgia, wondering if i will ever be myself again, wondering if i have ever been myself at all. moving houses, moving homes. dragging my feet along, then running and jumping, you never know what to face another day.

it was always summer and winter, only that you never know is it gonna be summer storm or paradise. or an avalanche or winter wonderland. and sometimes both come together, and sometimes it's just in between, or another plain day, being a bit too normal it gave you creeps. 

2022 was a roller coaster. only that you never know you're riding one. and you don't have any safety gears on. and you're alone on that ride. or maybe not, but you're too high on the ups and too low on the downs you never take time to learn your surroundings.

2022 was a wild ride. a whole scoop of lessons and memories; a bucket of tears and laughter; a good reminder that i am alive. 

might say it's one of my best years yet. would i relive it again? definitely, without a doubt. probably not the last 2 months tho. that was tough as hell, haha. 

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2023 has been kind so far. achieving something i never expected, getting chances on the unpredictable, and i am excited to finding out what's behind the other doors.

this blog is a ghost blog, noone's gonna read, so it's like, a gamble: i'm posting it online, fingers-crossed, with the hope of this remains silent. 

if anyone's ever gonna stumble here and read, please pretend you don't. and do me a favor: to never come back here. haha. have a good day, and week, and month, and year. hope you will always have a reason to be grateful for. :-) 

(oh ya i'm probably, hopefully, most likely, gonna post pictures here as well in the next posts; if there's gonna be any. i think it's gonna be fun to use this platform as an online diary hahaha.)